Blog Post // 2023-11-10

My Most Recent Tattoos and Their Stories!

When I had an active YouTube community I told many people I was going to be getting my first tattoos. I said I would share them. So here I go with a little about the experience and meaning behind these tattoos.

I had wanted tattoos for years, but I have very sensitive skin, so I thought it would end with me having a reaction of some kind. I finally got the guts to do it, and was able to heal fine, despite my concern. I have very much enjoyed the experience of getting and having the tattoos. I am going backward and telling you about my two most recent ones, first. I need to get pictures of my first two and will share about them in the future.

My third tattoo experience I suppose felt a bit rushed. I had just started a new job and I had to ask for the day off amidst back-to-back work days. I was really tired out. But I also knew more about what to expect. I was so very happy to see my tattoo artist. She has become my friend. I love her! She is the best hugger, and my tattoos always end with her in tears.

I listened to some Death followed by my Every Song Sucks Playlist 3 on the 1.5-hour car ride to the city. I ended up deciding on Vexed's first album as I was entering the city. I think it is the raw emotion in this album, and just knowing the story behind it, having talked to and interviewed Megan. It always leaves me feeling emotional.

This tattoo on my forearm symbolizes hope, determination, and putting one foot in front of the other. I truly believe we can always make an effort to make a positive step. I also believe there is a bigger picture, a purpose. And I am not a person who likes the saying, "Everything happens for a reason". The reality when we think of that is, maybe the reason was that someone was stupid and made a big mistake, maybe we screwed up. I prefer to look at situations as, what can I do to help? I can't control others. I can only control myself. I can't control the weather or time, but I can do what I can do. I wanted it to be in a visible location, as I believe this tattoo epitomizes a lot of what I stand for, and it fits perfectly in the location. The beautiful scenery reminds me of the beautiful things in this world, and especially a real location I call "Bear Mountain," that has great meaning for me. The flower growing in almost impossible circumstances reminds me that there is always light to be found. The tattoo healed quickly. Kind of funny - there is always talk of how much a tattoo hurts to get, but like it is in the mental sphere, tattoo healing is actually often more of a process.

My fourth tattoo is hidden under clothing. Being my most recent tattoo, at this point, my mother knew I was very into tattoos. She was going to the city and I asked her if I could go with her to get the tattoo while she was there. Weirdly, when I opened up with, "I have to tell you something," she followed it up with, "Let me guess. You are getting a tattoo?" I don't know why I was worried about her reaction, even though I am an adult. This tattoo only took a few hours because my artist is talented, and was in the most painful spot of all of them - the side of my waist and up into the rib area. It was the same tattoo artist, but this time, no colour. My tattoo artist joked about how I was having a casual conversation with her while she was doing it. She told me most people need a break or to come back another time. For me, the pain felt necessary, and it was cathartic. I love dragons! I always dreamt of having one as a pet and riding it, it protecting me, going to places not found normally. They are something people find scary or evil, but I don't see it that way. I am picky about the style of dragon as well; I much prefer the medieval-looking style with the long snout.

My tattoo is a dragon fiercely guarding a castle. My dragon is safeguarding me. I have a relaxed personality that thinks of others, but not always myself. I have a high threshold for disrespect from others. I have had several people be abusive towards me in my life. I wanted this tattoo to represent protecting myself, doing what I need to to stay safe, caring about myself, and choosing to act in ways that place value on me. Setting up boundaries and sticking to them. I got it because I still need this reminder. My journey has brought me a lot of education about how widespread abuse is, and it is heartbreaking. I encourage you, if something doesn't feel right in your relationship with someone else, to reach out for help. You know in your core when you have been disrespected. If this is a pattern, you may need to guard yourself more securely. The struggle is real. Breaking this pattern and making changes is probably a lifelong commitment. The first step is recognizing it. Find your dragon!